The search below autofills Lack Toast Intolerance.
via Padraig
My neighbor insisted on saying “Old Timer’s Disease.”
I play cards with someone that says “mixed deal” instead of misdeal.
My mother knows a lot of people with prostrate cancer.
For all intensive purposes this could be a good thread.
Cadillac converter
For all intents and purposes it could be.
Someone at work thought the tree and decorations were very ethical.
Can’t forget Obama’s corpseman. Or Michael for Michelle.
I’m trying to avoid getting “diabetus’ or diabetes.
The L3 streak shows the Met’s relief pitchers won’t cut the mustard in the playoffs.
“Diabeetus” lol
http://media.celebremix.com/5/mediaFiles/remix/6/2644.jpg
Why don’t you go see your momenem.
If you dare, type in “Care Bean” on the Bing search page….
Well, it’s a doggy dog world…
I’m allergic to toast
Boughten eggs instead of purchased eggs. Used to drive me nuts when I heard that in this area.
Get a pernament to curl your hair instead of permanent. My god-mother used to say that and I think it was kind of a Polish thing.
The roads are slippy.
gum band for a rubber band
Drownded.
Realator for realtor.
Duck tape
I axed you a question!
I bean there once
Fiddy Five is the speed limit.
My mom thinks her daughter in law is from West Consin (Wisconsin)
My same old mom loves to eat plumagranites!
My sister used to be a sectarry for a used car dealer.
“Let’s go sit on the davenport.”
AKA the couch. 🙂
Eggsit
Shtreet, shtruggle shtretch, etc.
Get two birds stoned at once
Whaaaaaat
Thighland… But some bars in Bangkok could be named that.
Libary
Ambalance
I was probably 20 before I learned that “Old Wise Tales” was NOT the proper way to describe bogus cures.
And I still don’t get “Wives tales.” I think old wives probably know more than most doctors about keeping the family healthy.
😉
How about toaster shakings?
http://www.toastershakings.com
I HATE it when someone calls it duck tape. I want to tape their mouth shut.
Armadillo, TX.
Now they’ve perverted the name all the way into the industry:
http://www.duckbrand.com/
My mom ALWAYS says davenport. It comes from a specific couch made by the Davenport company. It’s like saying “Kleenex” for tissue. I had to look it up when my mom asked me why I always said sofa or couch instead of davenport!
“Oh thank heaven for SemLem”
“God’s speed” is the one that kills me. Also, “viola.”
I runned out of gas and coasted to a stop in the medium. I went to cipher some from Bubba’s truck and when I got back to mine, somebody stole my wheel barrel out of the back.
Was listening to the radio and heard a song that had me baffled. The singer kept on and on about “how grey is our gah”. So, why should I care what color gah was … and what is a gah?
(How Great Is Our God by Chris Tomlin)
Winner for Winter.
“No matter of fact what ”
“To be Pacific”
Or the Keith Whitley song , ” I’m no stranger to Lorraine”
Dindu Nuffin
Rudy Ray Moore always said his films were rated “aura.”
I find that more amusing than irritating.
Expecially
Eggxactly!
They stared at each other in constellation (consternation) courtesy evil Earl who managed the White Cross (to Revco to CVS) where I worked in high school.
The snot nosed brats who demanded Annihilator candy when I worked the ice rink concession in college. Now and Later….
I knew it ……. you ARE southern!
I get really “flustrated” when I read this.
That used to bother me until I saw this and realized they were actually wrong anymore:
http://www.duckbrand.com/products/repair-project-duck-tape/original-duck-tape-reg
Mother in law likes to make donations to the “Salivation Army”.
RAD iator instead of Ray diator. It radiates heat. It doesn’t RAD -iate heat.
The Starvation Army is another one.
Is that like scuppnondines? (scuppernong mashed together with muscadine)
https://images.search.yahoo.com/yhs/search;_ylt=A0LEVjYRwtJV9PoAyXYnnIlQ?p=duck+tape&fr=yhs-mozilla-001&fr2=piv-web&hspart=mozilla&hsimp=yhs-001
Statue of Limitation
My last gig in Europe I was asked from one of the Europeans for some “Jesus tape”.
I looked at him and asked “What the hell is “Jesus tape?” (Yes, I worked in “hell” and “Jesus” in the same sentence.)
He pointed at the roll of duct tape and said that was “Jesus tape”.
Of course I asked, “Why do you call duct tape “Jesus tape”?
He answered, “Because Jesus saves.”
Perfessor
Teef, birfday
Six in one, as a shortened version of Six OF one, half dozen of the other.
Jewl-ery instead of Jewelry
If I hear veehickle one more time I’m going to go Newcular
warshing machine
bat-tree (battery)
pistol cottages (cartridges)
screet (meaning roadway or avenue as opposed to “the act or the sound of crying”)
Dialate.
supremist
Nip it in the butt
You’re from the south too!
Tongue and cheek
My brother was tellin’ me ’bout somebody steelin’ gaas out’n his truck wit’ a hosepipe.
simonese cats
You don’t appreciate how hard it is to say teeth when you don’t have but 3 of ’em and they ain’t even in front.
I wish I could give you 10 pluses for that one Cardigan. My DH’s family said warsh for wash. I loved them, but that one nearly drove me scream WASH.
Chester drawers
That one always makes me laugh just picturingit.
I’m from the Midwest and said “warsh” until I moved east and realized I was saying “wash” wrong. I literally had to remind myself how the word is spelled to break the habit.
Febweary
Libary, Valentimes Day, and progrum, (program)
swimps or skrimps; E-sliberty (East Liberty for you non Picksburghers); Little Warshington (ditto); perscription.
don’t forget the bikskit wit dos skrimps.
laxadaisical.
exGF’s mom. some friends of hers in Florida bought a condom.
…I got nothing,,,
Spitting image.
I had blocked the following (kind of like how I’ve blocked my proposing marriage to my ex, but that’s a different story) which makes my head feel like it will explode when I hear it:
Pundit. Political pundit.
(I’m looking at you, friggin’ Hannity).
yeah I’ve heard this and old timers disease. Sigh.
Blocking again. Yes, It’s that bad. I couldn’t even type the twisted speech.
P-U-N-D-I-N-T. Pundint. If you pronounce it this way, you ain’t one.
not sure that’s incorrect, more of a dialect or regional thing
at the risk of revealing my location too precisely (hello nsa) where I live many many people say “Worsh” instead of “Wash”. Like “I’m gonna go WORSH my clothes.” It’s a very common regional thing here.
I didn’t even realize it until I got to college and my very proper new englander roomate said “What’s that you’re gonna go do? You gonna WORSH your clothes?” amid much laughter. Needless to say I lost my redneck accent right quick.
I need a BAMBULANCE!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ty6JPyr2XZ0
welcome to ERF. SMACK.
And after you “warsh” the clothes (or dishes) don’t forget to wrench ’em. (rinse)
mmm-mm-mmm, with the middle “mm” inflected slightly higher. (I don’t know.)
My 87 y.o. Mom always adds “sugar” to her “dyebeetus,” same as her mother did. She also says All Heimers, which thank God she shows now signs of….
oops! NO sign of…. hmmm, maybe I should be tested….
When he was little my older brother used to say “mazagine.” When he got me to doing it, Mom decided no more and made us sit down and write the word 100 times. Cured me but brother still said it once in a while, just to needle Mom a little….
LOL! Knew a girl like that once….
ha ha ha I just posted this same thing above
How about “butt nekkid” instead of buck naked.
Or “like” instead of lack. It’s a TX thing.
I am as bad as some of the rest of you in saying warsh for wash. I think I got it from my Mom. It drives my daughter nuts when I say Warshington. and I’m a naïve of Washington state.
Native not naïve, who knows maybe be I’m a naïve Warshingtonian.
My youngest daughter said Hymen Trollman for Highway Patrolman.
With gumband and worsh I think I’ve pinpointed your location!
Yes! My dad used to say that! I did too until someone corrected me. Same area as gumband, and worsh.
My friend’s mother was a constant source of amusement.
If she had to pee, she said she had to “aereate.”
If someone was hard of hearing, she said they needed a “yearing egg.”
in the Mid 80s a coworker kept talking about the new camera she had bought… every time it sounded like ” out of focus” instead of autofocus. I could not figure out why you would want a camera that always took blurry shots.
When my niece was little, she always wanted to go to Fucky Tied Chicken for supper. She’s in her 40s now and still hasn’t lived it down. 🙂 Also, “one in the same” instead of “one and the same.”
Miss eddie much…?
; }
Guess what? “Duck tape” is actually the correct (and original) term:
https://www.duckbrand.com/duck-tape-club/history-of-duck-tape
That’s only if you’re speaking Ebonics.
Going to Wal-Marts or K-Marts. — How many stores are you going to?
Or some that I know say Wal-Mark or K-Mark — Drives me in nuts.
“Figment of your imaginary.”
😉