Milk Allergy? Eat More Toast

The search below autofills Lack Toast Intolerance.unnamed-1

via Padraig

My neighbor insisted on saying “Old Timer’s Disease.”

I play cards with someone that says “mixed deal” instead of misdeal.

My mother knows a lot of people with prostrate cancer.

For all intensive purposes this could be a good thread.

108 Comments on Milk Allergy? Eat More Toast

  1. I was probably 20 before I learned that “Old Wise Tales” was NOT the proper way to describe bogus cures.
    And I still don’t get “Wives tales.” I think old wives probably know more than most doctors about keeping the family healthy.

  2. My mom ALWAYS says davenport. It comes from a specific couch made by the Davenport company. It’s like saying “Kleenex” for tissue. I had to look it up when my mom asked me why I always said sofa or couch instead of davenport!

  3. I runned out of gas and coasted to a stop in the medium. I went to cipher some from Bubba’s truck and when I got back to mine, somebody stole my wheel barrel out of the back.

  4. Was listening to the radio and heard a song that had me baffled. The singer kept on and on about “how grey is our gah”. So, why should I care what color gah was … and what is a gah?

    (How Great Is Our God by Chris Tomlin)

  5. Eggxactly!

    They stared at each other in constellation (consternation) courtesy evil Earl who managed the White Cross (to Revco to CVS) where I worked in high school.

    The snot nosed brats who demanded Annihilator candy when I worked the ice rink concession in college. Now and Later….

  6. My last gig in Europe I was asked from one of the Europeans for some “Jesus tape”.
    I looked at him and asked “What the hell is “Jesus tape?” (Yes, I worked in “hell” and “Jesus” in the same sentence.)
    He pointed at the roll of duct tape and said that was “Jesus tape”.
    Of course I asked, “Why do you call duct tape “Jesus tape”?
    He answered, “Because Jesus saves.”

  7. bat-tree (battery)

    pistol cottages (cartridges)

    screet (meaning roadway or avenue as opposed to “the act or the sound of crying”)

  8. You don’t appreciate how hard it is to say teeth when you don’t have but 3 of ’em and they ain’t even in front.

  9. I’m from the Midwest and said “warsh” until I moved east and realized I was saying “wash” wrong. I literally had to remind myself how the word is spelled to break the habit.

  10. I had blocked the following (kind of like how I’ve blocked my proposing marriage to my ex, but that’s a different story) which makes my head feel like it will explode when I hear it:

    Pundit. Political pundit.

    (I’m looking at you, friggin’ Hannity).

  11. at the risk of revealing my location too precisely (hello nsa) where I live many many people say “Worsh” instead of “Wash”. Like “I’m gonna go WORSH my clothes.” It’s a very common regional thing here.

    I didn’t even realize it until I got to college and my very proper new englander roomate said “What’s that you’re gonna go do? You gonna WORSH your clothes?” amid much laughter. Needless to say I lost my redneck accent right quick.

  12. My 87 y.o. Mom always adds “sugar” to her “dyebeetus,” same as her mother did. She also says All Heimers, which thank God she shows now signs of….

  13. When he was little my older brother used to say “mazagine.” When he got me to doing it, Mom decided no more and made us sit down and write the word 100 times. Cured me but brother still said it once in a while, just to needle Mom a little….

  14. My friend’s mother was a constant source of amusement.

    If she had to pee, she said she had to “aereate.”

    If someone was hard of hearing, she said they needed a “yearing egg.”

  15. in the Mid 80s a coworker kept talking about the new camera she had bought… every time it sounded like ” out of focus” instead of autofocus. I could not figure out why you would want a camera that always took blurry shots.

  16. When my niece was little, she always wanted to go to Fucky Tied Chicken for supper. She’s in her 40s now and still hasn’t lived it down. 🙂 Also, “one in the same” instead of “one and the same.”

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