Newser-
Sometimes, obituaries written by the dearly departed go viral because they are so sweet and moving. This is not one of those. When Flo Harrelson died at age 65 in Maine, estranged daughter Christina Novak got the last word in four scathing sentences, reports the Bangor Daily News. In the obituary published in the Kennebec Journal, Novak wrote that her mother died “without family by her side due to burnt bridges and a wake of destruction left in her path.” It concludes:
- “Florence did not want an obituary or anyone including family to know she died. That’s because even in death, she wanted those she terrorized to still be living in fear looking over their shoulders. So, this isn’t so much an obituary but more of a public service announcement.”
I never thought anything could be simultaneously depressing and refreshing.
Wow. Talk about getting the last word.
It’s actually quite well done, succinct and not bitter, but acknowledging a long and chaotic backstory with a final chapter that ended as most such dramas do: sad and alone.
But, then again, we don’t know how she felt about you, Christina!
I am so fortunate to have lived in an extended family of multiple generations of good natured, nice people and also married into another one. Only one cousin is a total jerk and will probably leave this world in a similar circumstance as Florence, but she chose to be who she is.
Too many Karens in that family.
Interesting wording, “ written by the dearly departed”, in the intro.
…you know, its funny and all, but the dead woman is not affected at all by it. She has gone to her reward for better or worse, and neither knows nor cares about insults flung at her corpse.
…on the other hand, the lady doing the insulting IS obviously still among the living, and IS affected by them in a couple of different ways. While Im sure this was quite cathartic for her, darts flung at the dead have a way of coming back at their archer, and may make HER look like the petty person as she attacks an ex-person who in no way can respond. This opens her to attacks in kind, the most popular one being “you sure dont sound very Christian”.
Which takes us to the OTHER problem.
If she DOES consider herself Christian, Im sure shes come across the concept of forgiveness once or twice. The Bible makes it quite clear that one who cannot forgive in life, cannot themselves be forgiven in death.
That means that if this lady truly believes her mother went to hell, if she doesnt repent this diatribe at some point and find forgiveness, then in writing this passage shes also written her own ticket to spend eternity beside her.
And if her hatred runs THAT deep, it will be hell for her indeed.
…I struggle with forgiveness myself, but my personal feelings do not change the Word of the Lord.
I present two of many relevant Scriptures below. The second is rather long but very pointed here, and I can certainly in no way improve upon it.
But suffice to say, now that shes vented, its time to repent and forgive.
Not for her mother’s sake,
But her OWN.
…here’s why…
“But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”
-Matthew 6:15
“21 Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times?
22 Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.
23 Therefore is the kingdom of heaven likened unto a certain king, which would take account of his servants.
24 And when he had begun to reckon, one was brought unto him, which owed him ten thousand talents.
25 But forasmuch as he had not to pay, his lord commanded him to be sold, and his wife, and children, and all that he had, and payment to be made.
26 The servant therefore fell down, and worshipped him, saying, Lord, have patience with me, and I will pay thee all.
27 Then the lord of that servant was moved with compassion, and loosed him, and forgave him the debt.
28 But the same servant went out, and found one of his fellowservants, which owed him an hundred pence: and he laid hands on him, and took him by the throat, saying, Pay me that thou owest.
29 And his fellowservant fell down at his feet, and besought him, saying, Have patience with me, and I will pay thee all.
30 And he would not: but went and cast him into prison, till he should pay the debt.
31 So when his fellowservants saw what was done, they were very sorry, and came and told unto their lord all that was done.
32 Then his lord, after that he had called him, said unto him, O thou wicked servant, I forgave thee all that debt, because thou desiredst me:
33 Shouldest not thou also have had compassion on thy fellowservant, even as I had pity on thee?
34 And his lord was wroth, and delivered him to the tormentors, till he should pay all that was due unto him.
35 So likewise shall my heavenly Father do also unto you, if ye from your hearts forgive not every one his brother their trespasses.”
-Matthew 18:21-35
In our semi-empty nest lives (two out, one still in college far away) my wife and I binge watch fairly recent TV shows. In every damned one of them, the Millennial characters were:
abandoned/neglected/abused/belittled
by their
alcoholic/drug-addicted/mentally ill/divorced parents.
This cliche usually results in the Millennial characters being total wrecks who must attend group therapy of some sort, wherein they deliver long, boring soliloquies about their effed up lives. It’s almost enough to make me watch “Gunsmoke” for the third time.
Maybe she bears a small share of the blame for whatever mess of a relationship she had with mom, but the total lack of class, forgiveness and forbearance exhibited in this obituary is entirely on the sad, selfish, angry child. And I would not be surprised if she were put up to it by her therapy/AA/NA group.
@ Thirdtwin
Good point! Today’s young generation is suffering the plight of the divorce culture pushed onto society. When my first wife and mother of my children walked out of our marriage to “find herself”, I was crushed by how it was going to affect our children. Many people tried to convince me that I shouldn’t fret and that now my kids would be just like all the other kids with divorced parents. They couldn’t have said anything worse to me. Society is now paying a heavy price for all of the divorces that Oprah Winfree told women they needed so they could all be free. These young people feel worthless because they were treated that way by selfish parents.
@ Grim Reaper, I think we know she felt about Christina. Why she hated her would be the tell as to it being justified or not. Christina does not seem bitter so she is probably innocent and Flo was a major ass.
If you don’t have anything good to say about the dead, don’t say anything.
Good. She’s dead.