The Chicago Totals! (Drum roll, please)

Hey Jackass!

Final December Totals
Shot & Killed: 34
Shot & Wounded: 116
Total Homicides*: 40

Final 2013 Totals
Shot & Killed: 372
Shot & Wounded: 1778
Total Homicides*: 448

Should Old Acquaintance be forgot… and never thought upon…

And with that, 2013 is in the books. We’re confident 2014 will bring us ample amounts of mayhem and stupidity along with a little #PaxRahmana, a dash of #CrimeIsDown and a pinch of “call in the National Guard!”.

We’ll be modifying a few of our stats for 2014 in the hopes things will be even more clear and concise. Thank you again for all your support.

Happy New Year!


15 Comments on The Chicago Totals! (Drum roll, please)

  1. And you’d think the voter turnout would be dropping off considering how many of them are killing each other. Yet they keep turning up at the polls to vote democratic….


  2. I bet fewer people successfully signed up and paid for Obamacare in Chicago than were murdered.

    Oh, and they don’t call them “homicides” in Chicago. They are referred to as “newly registered voters”.

  3. Instructive, but the figures snap into sharper focus when you consider that Chicago’s population is about 2.7 million.

    Also instructive: New York City, which has more than three times as many people, had FEWER murders in 2013 (around 340). This followed 20 years of Rudy Giuliani’s staunch refusal to tolerate lawlessnes and Michael Bloomberg’s tremendous administrative skill in deploying law enforcement resources. Together these two drove crime rates down 80% over the peak recorded during the Dinkins administration in the early 1990s. Yeah, I know Obama thinks they

  4. Sorry premature transmission. Obama thinks they didn’t build that, but screw him and the horse he rode in on.

    I fear New York City under de Blasio. It would be nice not to to give a flying fig about the city, but I still have to WORK there.

  5. C’mon Chicago, that’s barely at a 1 a day clip.

    No slacking off in 2014 because

    One Detroit is a Lonely Detroit

  6. Total Homicides*: 448

    This is good news! That’s 448 no longer on welfare and 448 no longer producing welfare babies.

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