The Viral Blue Couch – IOTW Report

The Viral Blue Couch

The things that go viral… And speaking of viral, I would never bring a couch off the street into my home.

13 Comments on The Viral Blue Couch

  1. Bring out your trusty UV Light and see the urine, feces, and mucous stains.

    Try shining it on the sheets and pillow cases in your next hotel room.

    “Pleasant dreams!”

  2. Aaron Burr, you need to keep in mind as you continue down the dark blue path of Smurfism that they are racist, sexist, Maxist, Nazi stand-ins for Satan and reconsider whether if their demise wasn’t a GOOD thing for humanity…

    …plus as we’ve already discussed, they ARE harbingers of death even in modern entertainment venues as well as code for material gatherers for the purposes of meth production, and as such should be regarded as omens of evil on a par with a raven croaking “Nevermore!” incessantly at you from the shadows, and treat them accordingly, and CERTAINLY never considered as potental material to make a couch-sized Smurfskin version of an Ilse Koch lampshade as it would be the seat of evil indeed…

    You know what I’m talking about, but for those who missed it…

  3. You sound like a blue shoa denier….

    Look, the Smurfs are gone. Extinct. I’m not a boy detective but something smells smurfy about their sudden disappearance in 89′.
    This stank couch may be our only clue as to solving this maddening mystery.

    Chernobyl may have poisoned their smurfberry crops…we just don’t know yet.

    In other news, after much deep theological contemplation, I have decided Fred Flintstone has been burning in everlasting hellfire since caveman days due to his ignorance of The Lord, much less Jesus.

  4. I’m no interior decorator, but that won’t stop me from declaring that shade of blue belongs in the man cave of a Detroit Lions or Kansas City Royals fan.

  5. Only a gullible Liberal would think that hideous thing was worth 8K when new let alone bringing that moldy petrie dish into the home that, once it warms up, starts moving around in the living room!

  6. Just a Burr with a dream
    AT 7:25 AM

    “In other news, after much deep theological contemplation, I have decided Fred Flintstone has been burning in everlasting hellfire since caveman days due to his ignorance of The Lord, much less Jesus.”

    …Dante posited in his “Inferno” that when Jesus visited hell for the three days between his death on the Cross and his Easter return that He shattered the Gates of Hell as he entered in and removed the souls of certain Biblically significant figures such as Noah and Adam and Eve and took them back to Heaven with Him even though they could scarcely have been Christians given the time they lived in.

    There’s no reason to think He couldn’t have done the same for Fred Flintstone for making even Him laugh all those years.

    The Lord has a TREMENDOUS sense of humor. The fact that He made humans ALONE proves THAT. Why shouldn’t He want to lighten Heaven up a bit with the best of Hanna Barbarian comedy that He Himself inspired?

    …also, Dante notes that further figures in history, such as Julius Caesar, He did not take to Heaven but they were instead to be found in Limbo because they had no opportunity to know the Gospel in their time. Why then would Fred be found any lower than that?

    …I also bring up Julius Caesar as juxtaposed with The Christ because the Spin Doctors attribute a quote to him in “Cleopatra’s Cat” that is patently impossible. The verse is in Latin and goes like this;
    “Caesar had no thing to say, except,
    “Jesu Christi Domine,”

    …this translates to “Lord Jesus Christ” and in the context of his cat-ruined shoes COULD be taken for a blasphemey…but it isn’t possible for two reasons.

    1) Caesar didn’t know OF Christ, let alone acknowledge Him as Lord even in vain, because

    2) Jesus was born in the reign of Tiberius Caesar, which was the emperor AFTER the adopted son Octavian/Agustus’ long reign, so he didn’t even exist as an earthly Incarnation until WELL after Caesar’s demise, so Caesar would scarcely use the name of a person who didn’t exist that he never knew and didn’t acknowledge as Lord even as an oath at that time and place, cat claws or no.

    …so if you want to send someone to hell, send the Spin Doctors for causing such theological confusion in their lyrics (and for the abomination that is “Little Miss Can’t Be Wrong). Not saying they deserve worse than first circle, but they CERTAINLY deserve worse than poor ol’ Fred…

  7. @ Ann Thracts AT 2:48 AM

    Lol. I have a UV flashlight I bought for inspecting homes for rat (and other critter) urine.

    I’ve always said, if you have a clean-freak OCD friend you want to drive crazy, give them a UV flashlight. They’ll see things they never knew was there.

  8. Dante?….You can’t drag Dante into this. He’s Italian, and is therefor completely ignorant concerning Smurfy religious issues.

    I’ll give you Fred Flintstone since there really is no theological argument against the Spin Doctors… although I have to check with the lil’ chubby girl in the bee costume from all those Blind Mellon videos for verification.

    But the fact remains that A. there are no more Smurfs. And B. that couch is sus as hell.

    Oh Grumpy Smurf…where art thou?


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