Tony’s a good man – IOTW Report

Tony’s a good man

Sunday, 13 September 2015, 0:00 MJA Uncategorized 17

wedding

Maria had just gotten married and being a traditional Italian girl, she was still a virgin. On her wedding night, staying at her mother’s house, she was nervous. But her mother reassured her. “Don’t worry, Maria. Tony’s a good man. Go upstairs and he’ll take care of you.”

So up she went. When she got upstairs, Tony took off his shirt and exposed his hairy chest. Maria ran downstairs to her mother and says, “Mama, Mama, Tony‘s got a big hairy chest.” “Don’t worry, Maria,” said the mother, “all good men have hairy chests. Go upstairs. He’ll take good care of you.”

So, up she went again. When she got up in the bedroom, Tony took off his pants exposing his hairy legs. Again, Maria ran downstairs to her mother. “Mama, Mama, Tony took off his pants and he’s got hairy legs!” “Don’t worry. All good men have hairy legs. Tony’s a good man. Go upstairs and he’ll take good care of you.”

So up she went again. When she got up there, Tony took off his socks and on his left foot he was missing three toes. When Maria saw this, she ran downstairs. “Mama, Mama, Tony’s got a foot and a half!” “Stay here and stir the pasta,” says the mother. “This is a job for Mama.”

(Joke courtesy of JH)

17 Comments on Tony’s a good man

  4. Hm-m-m-m-m. it was 2 inches….from the floor.

    Here’s one for Bad Brad and AWD:

    As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, “If I’m going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman.” She removes all her clothing and asks, “Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?” A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, “Here, iron this!”.

  6. I have plenty of hair on my head, but no hairy chest and no hairy legs.
    I’m Swedish. Oh and I don’t have a foot and a half. Just a half.
    I would rather eat Italian food than any other food.

  7. Here’s another one for you then:

    A father and son are out shopping for Christmas presents for their family. The son asks, “What present are my sister and I going to get?” The dad answers, “I got you guys an iPad and iPod.” “Wow, thanks,” the son replies, “What will you give mom?” The dad says, “Your mom is getting an iRon.”

  11. So we’re into Italian Jokes. Good. I’m getting tired of Irish jokes.
    And besides it’s politically incorrect and even racist to tell ethnic
    jokes today. But Irish, Italian, and Catholic jokes are still OK. For the time being. But this is a true story. Happened in my wife’s family.

    Eighty five year old Attillio Bruno telephoned his son Dino who was serving time in Sing Sing on racketeering Charges.

    “Ah Dino my boy, said Attilio, I feela so bad. I no canna digga the garden no more. My legs, they no work. I no canna plant my tomatos, my peppers, my beautiful egga plant. My heart is a broken Dino my boy.”

    Brief pause in the conversation.

    ” Pappa Please, I beg you, don’t dig, don’t touch the garden. Pappa I have stuff buried there you don’t wanna see. P_lease Pappa. Don’t touch the garden..

    OK My Boy OK.

    Six am next morning two Back Hoes and eight FBI Agents showed up at Attilio’s garden with a warrant They dug the entire garden and found nothing. Feeling sorry for the old man, they raked it nice and smooth.

    Attillio called his son Dino later that day. “You’re a gooda boy Dino, A gooda boy.”

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