Not so long ago, the average American man in his 20s had achieved most of the milestones of adulthood: a high-school diploma, financial independence, marriage and children. Today, most men in their 20s hang out in a novel sort of limbo, a hybrid state of semi-hormonal adolescence and responsible self-reliance. This “pre-adulthood” has much to recommend it, especially for the college-educated. But it’s time to state what has become obvious to legions of frustrated young women: It doesn’t bring out the best in men.
“Guys talk about ‘Star Wars’ like it’s not a movie made for people half their age; a guy’s idea of a perfect night is a hang around the PlayStation with his bandmates, or a trip to Vegas with his college friends…. They are more like the kids we babysat than the dads who drove us home.”
What has happened? I’ll tell you.
It is the same mechanism that creates a broadening welfare state.
If you subsidize slackerism, you’ll get more of it.
Between feminism (which has created more women vulnerable to men looking for a sugar mommy), welfare, disability and every other safety net that can be exploited, men do not have to become men any time soon. They have options.
What BFH said and here’s some more: real men (the kind you want to marry and will stay with you), will want to work. And be a provider. And when they can’t they will pick themselves up get back into a job.
That is what we call a father.
Also (maybe): Divorce rates are high and increasing. There is less in it for a man than a woman, and the loss in divorce makes the risk unacceptable to more and more males. Increasingly, young men are realizing this and staying away from the commitment, which takes the pressure off of having to grow up and get serious.
Just a thought.
What you describe is their definition of a man. Dakota Meyer is this generations man. There’s more.
I was 19 when I joined the Navy in 1972. I had more responsibility in the 3 years I was in the Navy when I was in my early 20’s than most of the rest of my adult life. i made 2 trips to SE Asia, the Indian Ocean and the Persian Gulf when I was 21-22 and was a veteran at the age of 22. Went to college on the GI Bill after I got out of the Navy and was far better adjusted than most of the other young men my age. Met my wife of 30+ plus years when I was 23 and she was 20. We got married a year later in 1977 and had 3 kids together. I did a lot of stupid crap when I was in my 20’s I will admit but with Gods grace and a good wife I made it and am still here 40 years later. Sometimes I wonder if we still had a draft if it would help a lot of these young chowder heads to grow up like the Vietnam war did for a lot of my generation like myself, But I just don’t know if these younger guys and gals could hack it now since they’ve led such coddled care free lives. All I know is a little bit of adventure, finding the right woman and taking responsibility for my life paid off. If that makes me old fashioned, a fuddy duddy and sometimes a grumpy old fart so be it, it was worth it. I wouldn’t change a thing. May the young men and women get so lucky as I am. It would also help if they grew up in a world where such things can happen and quit acting like a bunch of spoiled rotten kids that the world owes a living to. One piece of good advice I will give to them, LIFE ISN’T FAIR, GET OVER IT!
Amen BFH and Meerkat, very puzzling. When I was a kid I wanted to be grown up not 12, I wanted to be married and have a family.
Kids (and adults) never want to grow up nowadays. By the time I was 45 I had 12 kids and I’m having a blast being a father and a grandfather, working on my cars, trucks, our home, traveling, living the good life.
O’Bama has put major roadblocks in our way but we’ll blast through it, we’re real Americans. I have eight sons and 4 daughters that will help see to that!
We’ve fought many a powerful foe in the past and have been victorious so don’t lose heart, we will win again.
Just please grow up!
There you go, that’s a man.
Good job, and thank you.
BRAVO ZULU
Geoff,
You are the salt of the earth,
conservatives believe in the tried and true.
Marxists believe in fairy tales, thus the crap hole we’re in now.
We win in the end.
12 !
I wanted 10 but only achieved 3 living ones.
No matter my struggles or hurdles that limited me, I am humbled by your accomplishments.
You rock.
Ha! We always told people we wanted a bakers dozen, but alas number 13 miscarried. Samuel is his name and I’ll meet him one day!
I was busting my ass at 19 to support a family, and it felt like the right thing to do. Married in 1976, and was finished with most of my pointless f*ck*ng around by then.
Speaking of real women, I’m looking for a woman to share SHTF with. Have supplies for about one year. Must be able to pull a plow. With a Massey Ferguson, of course. And her ass has to fit on the tractor seat without hanging over. It’s a pretty large seat, I’m not a cruel guy.
😉
Women must take a considerable
part of the blame. The feminization
starts early in public schools. Women
teachers, who dominate the staff by
their numbers don’t want Tom Sawyers
in their classes. Doing normal “boy stuff”
results in punishment or drugging for
imaginary ADD or other BS “problems”,
when the only thing “wrong” with boys
is that they are male.
iOTW is being kind in its assessment. The original article, while it does have some points, is more of an anti-male rant than not. If the available women are the judging, paternalizing “oh just grow up” joyless moms-at-all-cost, who would want to be with them? Single women are surrounded by the sisterhood of perpetual estrogen and never get a good look at who they really are. That they can’t find good men and are still single ought to be a clue to them. Blaming men won’t get them what they want.
I’ve got one of those too. tnx for saying that.
I go to church with one of these men. He’s in his early 20s. He is a gym rat and has some store-bought muscles, plays video games, and regularly plays nerf war with kids 10 years his junior. He is also in a band and they’ve had a few gigs I guess.
He does have a job and does live on his own but at the same time he’s flaky. He is inconsistent, doesn’t show up on time to stuff and doesn’t stick to his word.
Some things he has figured out, some things he’s still like a kid.
He asked me if I wanted to go out and get some sushi, we’re supposed to do that tonight. He’s already moved the time once from what he originally said. This kind of thing has happened before and I won’t be surprised if he cancels on me.
I need some work done in my crawlspace, I told him I’d buy his sushi tonight if he does that little bit of work for me.
Good for something, then. Lol.
I’d say he’s a good kid, but he’s not a kid any more.
“How long will men be satisfied to replay and reinvent the conflict dramas of the past through books and movies and games, without the hope of experiencing any meaningful conflict in their own lives? When will we grow tired of hearing the stories of great men long dead? How long will men tolerate this state of relative dishonor, knowing that their ancestors were stronger men, harder men, more courageous men—and knowing that this heritage of strength survives in them, but that their own potential for manly virtue, for glory, for honor, will be wasted?”
(Like geoff the aardvark {He must’ve had specie re-assignment as he’s revealed himself as a squid in an earlier life ~} I was a 19 yr old Sgt. of Marines on my 1st tour in RVN.)
…”and the qualities of character men once needed to play their roles—fortitude, stoicism, courage, fidelity—are obsolete, even a little embarrassing.”
The good men are all around but because you see qualities of a real man as obsolete and embarrassing you will never meet one.
Stupid women…Stupid women everywhere.
Poor education, a destroyed economy, and feminist bitches – – who can blame them?
I was watching a show last week called Naked and Afraid XL. There is this one crazy bitch named Honora Bowen, she sabotaged her partners, so I googled her out of curiosity.
I wasn’t surprised in the least what I found others saying about her. However I was surprised to find a few millennial dudes who were saying that she is the norm for 20 something women these days. Apparently psycho feminist bitches like Honora Bowen kind of kill the desire for these fellas. Considering this, I can understand why there’s no rush to settle down.
There are so many elements , especially these days, working against boys to grow up to be men.
1) Lack of father figures.
2) Lack of desire to grow up ( this one doesn’t care what time it is).
3) 3rd wave feminism.
4) Acceptance of being utterly inundated with technology, having less desire to “get real”.
5) Lack of experiencing adversity, except the various kinds any kid finds at school.
6) Unbalanced families ( single parent), divorce trauma, unsettled homes.
7) Crappy, crappy diets.
The falling away of the family unit has disastrous consequences, over time.
The end of this IS that “Great Society” the libbies so hope for; where all stay dumb and childlike-massive arrested development.
http://Www.savethemales.ca
Sdr, I’m a proud squid. I was an Airdale (Navy aviation) a plane captain (crew chief in a F-4 Phantom squadron, VF114) when I was 21. I love the Marines, one of my nephews who was a Lt. JG in the Navy called his two younger brothers in the Marines the Men’s dept. of the Navy. One of them received a Purple Heart in Iraq when an IED blew up in his face when he was a gunner on a Humvee. He’s a lucky young man to have survived this. All 3 of them are doing well, my oldest nephew is an engineer with 3 kids, a girl and 2 boys and the other 2 have good jobs as well. My son who in his early 30’s who has a good wife and a good job installing fiber optic cable. After he finally figured out he couldn’t be a jerk all his life, his wife helped him settle down and his father in law read him the riot act as well. I’m proud of him and my oldest daughter married a good young man 2 years ago from Padukah, Kentucky. I’m proud of her as well for getting her Masters degree from Regent University in Va. Beach. My late wife would be proud of all of them, we did well. And my youngest daughter just got her AA in early child education and a job working with little kids starting just the 1st of August. Which is pretty good considering she had some birth defects which could’ve affected her negatively but she has overcome a lot and more compassion than anyone else I know especially with little kids.
What my three daughters have discovered is that all the “young” men today want is a mommy they can have sex with. Girls are better off without the guys because then they only have to look after themselves. The guys expect a wife to do EVERYTHING, even support themselves. I am no feminist, but men don’t want to accept any responsibility at all these days.
@geoff – Great family, my friend – great American family. As to the “squid” remark – I’m sure you know it was just typical Navy/Marine trash talk – zero malice intended. My Dad was two war Navy & my Uncle was a three war Navy lifer. Was senior Chief in the Navy when he retired (note – not Senior Chief OF the Navy). BTW – I’m still breathing because of F-4’s more times than I can remember.
“Yokahama Mama?”
“This is Rice Paddy Daddy – do you copy? We could use a little help down here.”
-)
Two of the most important things I learned in the Navy was not to mess with the Marines and SEALS as well. The other was a love of country I might not have ever developed if I hadn’t served in the Navy. Let them do their jobs and leave them alone. And whenever we had a nuclear weapons drill to steer way clear of the Marines with their M-16’s.