Babylon Bee
Following the arrest of Ghislaine Maxwell for sex abuse charges, the FBI is taking no chances in keeping her safe while she awaits trial. Sparing no expense, the FBI has hired top-notch Italian bodyguard Hiluigi Clintonelli.
“It’s-a me, Clintonelli!” said the world-renowned bodyguard arriving at the prison. More
“There’s simply no one else that we trust to execute this job as she can.”
“There’s simply no one else that we trust to execute this high risk suspect as she can.”
There, fixed it.
Ghislaine didn’t make herself an offer she couldn’t refuse.
There’s just nothing like him on the market today!
If those Obammy bagmen have her she’s dead meat.
He ain’t no ways tired, either.
Who says they can’t kill you – AND eat you!
Poor Ghislane, probably won’t be in that order …
izlamo delenda est …
Nevermind…I saw the last name..haha
Hiluigi will treat her like a bambino! Hiluigi will abort her!
Yea and they’re gonna give her the Epstein Suite at the MCC.
This really sounds like fake news. Look at that joke of a name.
Her guard will be on her like s blanket day and night!
They’re claiming it’s a ‘she.’ That’s just wrong.
Bye Bye Jizzstain, who did not kill herself.
Hopefully it will be a murder/suicide scenario.
Ghislane Maxwell didn’t kill herself.
Babylon Bess has to be careful or they may be like the Onion: their parodies are more accurate than the MSM.
Hiluigi Clintonelli and her, er, I mean his sidekick, Slickitore Clintonici
And Schnopes is vigorously denying this story, calling it Fake News. Twatter and Faceschnook have banned mentioning it while AlreadyReadIt considers it hateful.
Poor Gizstain.
All that money and no one to trust?
Maxwell is to provide our October Surprise.