Babylon Bee
In an attempt to tackle the unprecedented and growing phenomenon of historical figures spinning rapidly in their graves, federal officials have begun strapping down the Founding Fathers at several historical sites.
“It started slowly, back around 2016,” explained National Park Director Larry Rozinsky. “We noticed George Washington’s corpse had done a full 360. It was a bit odd but nothing unlike what we’d seen a few times back in the sixties.” More
Certainly more of an honest news report than anything that appears in the MSM.
Hamilton was discovered face down ass up with a smile on his face.
^^^^ & a ball in his head ^^^^
(musket ball, that is)
Technically I shot him in “the upper thigh”. Old timey talk for shot “IN THE BALLS.”
But how he lived so long after killing all those Americans in the Whiskey Rebellion is beyond me.
Sorta’ regret sending him a bottle of wine after the duel. But, as noted elsewhere….I’m not a complete monster.
so, you shot him in his other ‘head’ …
“How does a bastard, orphan, son of a whore and a
Scotsman, dropped in the middle of a forgotten
Spot in the Caribbean by providence, impoverished, in squalor
Grow up to be a hero and a scholar?” ~ Aaron Burr
… from that stupid musical …. thought you had better taste, dude
The only musical I’ve written is “BURR!!!!….on ice.”
It’s a Broadway spectacular with flamethrowers, french whores, a special guest appearance by Andy Jackson and of course, the 1976 starting lineup of the Philadelphia Flyers.
…. w/ special guest appearance from
Mary Lou RettonTonya Harding!People have seen Tonya on ice.
Now, Andy Jackson in a power play against the 76 Flyers? Damn. I’d pay to see that and I’m the producer of this show.