The Scandal That Will Finally Nail Trump – Pancakegate

This is one of the reasons Newsweek was sold for a dollar. No, not an individual magazine… the entire organization.

The highly partisan Trump-hating Newsweek has finally found the Holy Grail, the scandal that will take down Trump.

According to a loon living in Scotland, who is related to the president, Trump visited her and forgot that her husband had died.

Then he put pancakes in his pocket and left without saying “Cheerio.” (Not kidding.)

Then a muskrat tapped on her window and asked her if she wanted him to rotate her wheelchair tires. And then she ate a lipstick like it was beef jerky.

Newsweek. Filling the void when Mad Magazine folded.

Actual Story here.

19 Comments on The Scandal That Will Finally Nail Trump – Pancakegate

  1. “A distant cousin of the president, Alice Mackay—related to Trump through his mother’s family, the McLeods—said the commander-in-chief is an unpleasant man who has never used any of his wealth to help his mother’s local community.”

    Just like that no good Barack. Never helping his family, and just wanting to eat his goddam waffle. Fakim. That’s a Kenyan expression.

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  2. She was properly circ—nope, Whitey White, nice try.

    And you go to hell, Zeituni. You’d still be in a mud hut if it weren’t for Barack.

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  3. Truth. Trump stopped by my house to play a game of jacks. When he left he had some gravel stuck in the sole of his shoe. I watched him get on his scooter and go home. I never got my gravel back. Evil pure evil!

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  4. Show dis to Maxine PEACH-FODAFY Waters. Finder’s fee could be worth a fortune. Nadler’s gonna stroke out. NYT’s will implode.

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  5. Maybe he was using the pancakes as hand warmers. Och, it gets verra cold in some paerts o’ Scotland.

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  6. I take it the pancakes tasted like poop and the old hag didn’t have a dog for Trump to feed them to so he done a thoughtful jester of sneaking them in his pocket to toss out later.

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  7. The humanity! Has he no conscience? Just last week he showed up at my place with Corn Pop and the rest of his gang and while I was hanging out in the garden listening to the cat he brought along play turkey in the straw he further distracted me by ordering his cow to jump over the moon… And while that little dog he brought along and I laughed laughed to see such a sight the bastard snuck into the silver closet and ran off with a spoon. I wrapped a chain around my hand and caught up with him and called him on the theft, and get this – he claimed the dish did it. Worst of all they all were wearing MAGA hats, and that confirms that Donald Trump hangs out with racists and homophobes.

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  8. I was in a helicopter about to land amid heavy machine gun and rocket fire in Afghanistan when out of nowhere Donald Trump showed up with Count Chocula and the Frito Bandido and threw in with the forces of evil. Wearing MAGA hats, which tipped me that I was obviously surrounded by racists and homophobes and get this he pulled a pancake out of one pocket and a waffle from the other and that’s when I yelled out leggo my Eggo or I will show you just what a nasty woman can do in a situation such as this. Bill even quit humping the stewardesses leg for five minutes and together with our buddy Epstein we were able to fight our way out. Of a really tough spot.

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  9. This is like asking Lobella Baggins about Bilbo Baggins…
    Of course the crusty bint is gonna talk smack, she’s mad that he hasn’t ‘shared the wealth’ with his extended relations.
    (Not that she would share if she were in his shoes).

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