Jamie Keeton from Kenosha, Wisconsin can stick stuff to his head.
He now holds the Guinness world record for being able to attach and hold 9 cans to his head and face.
Is his superhero name The Human Coaster?
38 Comments on What’s Your Super Power?
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He did this at work last week and – you guessed it – they canned him.
They call me “The Condescender”.
That means I talk down to people.
I can hit a quarter at 1500 yards with my 6 mm BR.
Would you believe 2000 yards?
Joe 9-Pack.
And three cans uppa his ass. GTFOOH!
I’m busy watching our five worthless past Presidents on TV raising money for the Clinton Foundation
I’M tired, tired, tired, tired, of this shit!
They call me the sleeper: I put people to sleep when I preach!
i can drink a lot…
I have amazing powers of observation..
What super power I wish I had, would be to be able to kick a kickball at whoever is on my TV and the kickball would appear 10 feet in front of them and moving with some considerable velocity, lambaste those who annoy Lazlo right in the peach.
I can walk down a street and turn into a tavern.
I can bend spoons with my mind.
OK. Plastic spoons. And with a lighter.
Sunday night Joke: (BFH should start this)
An ex-GI applies for a job at the United States Postal Service.
The GI passes all tests and is invited for a final interview with an USPS Human Resources Official. Here’s how it went.
HRO. Hello Joe, how are you? we here at the USPS want to make sure that all our employees are well taken of and well treated.
GI Joe, Thank you Sir, I appreciate that.
HRO. Well Joe, is there anything you don’t like?
GI Joe . Well no Sir, but I don’t like coffee
HBO. You don’t like coffee? Wow. Now tell me Joe if you have any disabilities other than hating coffee?
GI Joe, Well yes Sir, my balls were shot off by the Viet Cong back in 1972.
HBO: Oh, my God, are you serious?
GI Joe: Yes I’m very serious.
HBO Well Joe you’re hired. The normal hours are from 8 to 5, but you can come a 10 am.
GI JOE, Why 10 am why not 8 am?
HBO; ‘Cause from 8 am to 10 am all we do is drink coffee and scratch our balls .
Wyatt. That’s amazing! What do you turn into on your way back home? 😉
Moe Tom. Hang in to near the end for Sam Moore’s salutation to obama. It’s worth it.
His super hero name is BRAAAAAAPMAN.
Hey ND, WTF? That was Me
That’s OK, Moe Tom, it offered me the opportunity to give you two upthumbs!
Uncle Al God Bless You
Because he is a greasy fat head
If his name were Jaime instead of Jamie, he could call himself ¡El Chupalatas!
I can crush beer cans with my ass cheeks.
That’s why they call me “Captain Crack.”
Fifty bucks says he discovered this feat by drinking the beers first. You don’t discover exceptionalism like this being sober. Fact.
My super power is not punching out obnoxious liberals.
It’s kept me out of trouble so far.
Dixon I knew a broad who could crack walnuts with her ass.
I avoided her.
My super power is always being at the wrong place at the wrong time.
I would call him The Inebriator. The drunker he get’s, the more powerful he thinks he is.
I have few… an ability to write parody songs, an ability to entertain at tables with my medicore ballons and jokes, and I’m an awesome cook..
ME?…I dance and because some of my lower body is paralyzed, I attract pidgeons….so I got the pet shop thing going….
Groucho….post recipes!!!…
Complete strangers ask me directions, all the time.
Pull my finger, I’ll show you.
OK Agatha…..Where am I going?….
LOL Willy. She’s SIRI, not Cleo
I’m out of practice, but I can do a great Anthony Weiner impersonation. It involves hand lotion and tissues.
If I play lottery, I always manage to pick the numbers that are one digit higher or lower than the winning numbers.
no matter where I go, I can always find dog shit by the mere presence of the sole of my shoe
I have the Ability to Spin things through the air at high velocity … My Labrador has the Ability to Catch them !!!
I can make wine, beer and good scotch disappear, and leave the containers intact.
@willygoatsgruff
Tell me where you want to go and I can tell you how to get there!
🙂
I haven’t used an alarm clock in at least 10 years. Before I go to sleep, I decide what time I want to get up in the morning and I always wake up within 5 mins (usually 5 mins before), the time I wanted to wake up.