How To Be a Good Wife – IOTW Report

How To Be a Good Wife

Thursday, 26 October 2017, 2:43 BFH Uncategorized 39

There’s an article floating around the internet that may or may not be real. It’s “undetermined” by various fact checking sites.

I’ll post it after this real advice via a 1950s book called Fascinating Womanhood-

DO:   Accept him at face value.
DON’T:   Try to change him.

DO:   Admire the manly things about him.
DON’T:   Show indifference, contempt, or ridicule towards his masculine abilities, achievements or ideas.

DO:  Recognize his superior strength and ability.
DON’T:   Try to excel him in anything which requires masculine ability.

DO:   Be a Domestic Goddess.
DON’T:   Let the outside world crowd you for time to do your homemaking tasks well.

DO:   Work for inner happiness and seek to understand its rules.
DON’T:   Have a lot of preconceived ideas of what you want out of life.

DO:   Revere your husband and honor his right to rule you and your children.
DON’T:   Stand in the way of his decisions, or his law.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Here is the one that can’t be confirmed as real. How is it any different than the lists we know to be real?

Moe Tom sent this in and wants to know how the gals on iOTWreport feel about the list?

 

39 Comments on How To Be a Good Wife

  8. Any man who wants to attempt to understand certain aspects of the female mind can be my guest. Rational one moment and the next a tornado of emotion that no attempt at reason will calm and soothe. Best to avoid confrontation and stay out of the blast zone until it clears.

  10. Seems written to get the most negative reaction by even the moderate of today’s women.

    Some of the underlying ideas are actually correct. You can’t change anyone – it is hard to change yourself, so that seems obvious. Both people in a loving relationship should try to please the other. If looked at by that standard, the above “rules” are moot.

    My advice to my newly married daughter: remember the things he does for you, when you pick up his clothes (or whatever the minor irritation is) for the 100th time. You are not going to change him, and you can either accept some of his shortcomings, and do it with grace or you can become a shrew who complains about the things in life that really don’t matter. There are probably things about you that irritate him, too.

    One of my rules was “never, never criticize, belittle or mock your spouse” to a friend or co-worker. There are professionals if the problem is serious. You are now one, partners, and to talk behind their back undermines that unity.

  14. Most of these are good ideas to live by for everyone, especially “DON’T: Have a lot of preconceived ideas of what you want out of life.”

    I used to work with a woman who was never happy. Nothing seemed good enough, even if it was something any normal person would be rejoicing about.

  15. I like the list, but Im old fashioned. But I draw the line at taking my hubby’s manure covered boots off. Im one of those that think women shouldnt really work outside the home. I hang clothes out on the line, I buy things from thrift stores to help save money. Hubby makes the majority of decisions in our house, and why not let him, it frees up my brain cells.

  19. Hubs and I are a team. Our favorite saying is “There’s no I in team, but there is one in the A-hole” which is usually presented as a visual. Hubs lost his job 18 months ago. I’ve been putting in 60 hour work weeks since then while he launches a business. My in-laws are amazed but incredibly grateful that I haven’t walked.

    Wait, what?!?!?!!!

    That’s the expectation anymore.

    How sad for the American family.

  20. Some of it I have no problem with, some of it is stupid, especially being fine with him not coming home all night. Women in the 50’s would have pulled out the cast iron skillet, not much different than women today.

    I’m old fashioned and believe the ideal family makeup should be the woman staying home and raising the kids while the man brings home the bacon. It doesn’t mean a woman is a rug to be walked on. My preacher always said, “the man is the head of the house and the woman is the neck, turning his head in the right direction.”

  22. “I used to work with a woman who was never happy. Nothing seemed good enough, even if it was something any normal person would be rejoicing about.”

    Claudia, you worked with my wife??!!

  23. This might of worked in the fifties but its a recipe for disaster in todays world.
    I am retired, my bride still works. So I do all the cooking, shopping, clothes and other numerous duties around the house. I can only shudder in horror of what would happen if my wife came home after a day of work and I asked her what was for supper.

  25. @HooHooNayNay – I did the same for my ex husband during his very long layoff. Not begrudgingly, but as part of the team of marriage. That partnership is what marriage is about; 100% from each partner.

    But I did grow up in the fifties and those guidelines were part of Home Ec curriculum. The husband was the center/head of the home. He worked 8 hours or whatever, and the wife worked about 16 or more, plus was on call 24 hours. All night nurse for sick kids, dogs or husband. Again, I happily performed my job. Never complaining. After all, I could sneak in a cat nap here or there.

    Basically, we had a marriage that used the tenets of common sense and respect. Ignoring the ‘rules’ and getting in with life.

    But the last two on the list were NOT followed or expected and the list reminds me of Sharia law, especially:
    “DO: Revere your husband and honor his right to rule you and your children.
    DON’T: Stand in the way of his decisions, or his law.”

  30. Been married for 20 years as of yesterday – hubster and I have had 2 fights in 2 decades. I am married to an old school gentleman and I am forever grateful. I treat him with respect and he treats me like a queen. BFF’s 4-ever and all that jazz. Bliss.

  31. “DO: Accept him at face value.
    DON’T: Try to change him. ”

    Holy crap is that ever the truth. And that goes for women, too.
    Relationships have gone under in horrible ways because people don’t follow that particular rule.
    If your husband/wife was crazy when you met, they’re still gonna be crazy after your wedding. If you can’t deal with it, before hand, then don’t get married.

    OK the last section bothers me:

    “DO: Revere your husband and honor his right to rule you and your children.
    DON’T: Stand in the way of his decisions, or his law. ”

    In general, I don’t want to see the men having to do that for women, either What Sharia law freak wrote that?
    Let me fix that shit:

    1. Revere your husband / wife and your children ALWAYS.
    2. Only stand in the way of decisions if they hurt the family.

    And I’m through.

  34. Many things on this list are just plain common sense on how to run a household, be kind and thoughtful and are applicable for a hubbby to do in return as well. Others strike me as scripted from ‘Mad Men’ and very outdated and not realistically achievable without building resentment or whiskey in those times or these.

  35. I like the first list better than the second. These lists were written in an era of stay-at-home wives and mothers. These days, most women have to work to make ends meet for their families. I think consideration should work both ways. That is why I was so blessed to have my wonderful husband who honored me for who I was, as I did him. I miss him every day.

  38. These are, pretty much, Bible based.

    Your reaction may reflect your relationship with God’s Word.

    God also wants the man to be committed to the woman in like manner. It’s not lopsided. Just that each has a role and it works if you adhere to them.

    Related: There are only TWO genders. Two for a reason.

    Mk: 10:6 But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female.

  39. Best relationship advice I was ever given was from a thrice married man- he said “You can be happy or you can be right, but not both.” I found he was correct in his wisdom.

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