New crop of books nobody wants – IOTW Report

New crop of books nobody wants

BH: Try to restrain your excitement — Hillary Clinton, John Kerry and John Kasich are all writing books.

Think how many trees are going to die for … what? And then there’s the carbon footprint. All those trucks taking all those thousands of books to warehouses and stores, then picking them up after they don’t sell and taking them to some place to be pulped — at which point maybe they can at least be recycled into something more useful, like toilet paper.

Let’s start with Kerry’s proposed book. It’s going to be his “first memoir,” which you could take as a threat — there may be a sequel! Sadly, as someone pointed out yesterday, Kerry’s obvious title is already taken — “American Gigolo.”

 

You’ll be surprised to learn that he plans to mention his service in Vietnam, not to mention a “deep behind-the-scenes” take on his years as secretary of state.

Finally, we will learn the answer to that question we’ve been pondering all these years. Does Syrian dictator Bashar al-Assad prefer red or white wine with dinner?

A few suggested chapters: “Windsurfing for Dummies,” and “Me and My Pink Girly Bike.”

courtesy photo

Self-help books have always done very well. Kerry should think along the lines of “You Too Can Marry an Heiress — or Two!” Or he could offer more prosaic tips — “You Can Fight City Hall — How I Got that Pesky Fire Plug Moved.”  MORE

25 Comments on New crop of books nobody wants

  1. I can just hear H-Rod now on the radio book-flogging tour, being interviewed on the Berkeley NPR station.

    “Good Mor…Ooooh! Ooooh! Uhhhhh… *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* … Uhhhhh …………. *thud* ………. Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf!”

  2. Ah yes, the “book deal”. A time-honored way to launder bribe money. The corrupt pol gets a huge advance on a book nobody in their right mind would buy, left-wing front groups, funded by Soros buy-up the books, and dump them in the east river. Everyone wins.

  3. We’ve got plenty of trees since they stopped publishing the Sears catalog. Level of interest is at all time lows for has beens though.

    I submitted my manuscript to Harper Collins for my new book, “If I Did It”. Received a courteous rejection letter informing me that the title had already been used by some dude named OJ.

    Abandoned the project.

    I’ve got a new idea for a cooking device that’ll be all the rage. It’s made of forged steel and the target market are those still disappointed by the presidential election of 2000.
    Gonna call it the Forged Gore man Grille.

  4. Massachusetts retard marries an African American ketchup gold digger after he slanders American GI’s after he writes himself up for 3 purple hearts to get himself out of Vietnam.

    What is the deal with Massachusetts?

  5. It’s a Leftist jobs program. People employed to cut down trees for the pulp mill, jobs hauling spools of paper to the printer, jobs producing ink, printer jobs, freight jobs to haul the books to the book stores, waste management jobs hauling the books to the dump, etc. 117k copies of Hillary’s Hard Choices were printed, no ebook edition, would seem to support this tactic.

    Plus they’re hoping some people might even read them, believe what was written and vote Demonrat.

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