Performing My Best Leftard Imitation – IOTW Report

Performing My Best Leftard Imitation

We’re fact-checking Stephen Colbert’s jokes, just like the insufferable left fact-checked a Sean Spicer joke.

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-“You have more people marching against you than cancer.”

 Actually, no. Statistically there are tens of millions of people who march or rally, or organize against cancer. On a daily basis, cancer is probably the issue which receives the most activism and awareness.

I rate this false, giving it 3 smug chins and 1 douchechill.

-“You talk like a sign language gorilla who got hit in the head.”

 This joke makes little sense because sign language is not “audible speech.” Since the president speaks, and doesn’t sign, likening him to a signing gorilla is not apropos, whether it’s been hit on the head or not.

I rate this false, giving it 1 smug chin and 5 douchechills.

-“Sir, you attract more skinheads than free Rogaine.”

 The amount of skinheads attracted by Trump has not been quantified, neither has the amount of bald people who would be attracted to free Rogaine.

However, there are more bald people in the world than there are “skinheads.” So there are many, many more bald people who could potentially be attracted to free Rogaine than skinheads to Trump.

I rate this false, giving it 2 smug chins.

 – “In fact, the only thing your mouth is good for is being Vladimir Putin’s c— holster.”

 The fact is there are many things Trump’s mouth is good for. Talking, eating, breathing, drinking.. etc.

To say that his mouth is only good for one thing is obviously false.

I give this one 6 smug chins and 10 douchechills.

 

 

 

 

 

 

9 Comments on Performing My Best Leftard Imitation

  1. Please contact your local CBS affiliate and ask them why they accept this douchebag asswipe as a spokesman for their network. He has vulgarly insulted half their former potential audience.

  2. The ‘smug chin’ guy always kills me.
    STOP USING HIS FACE OR ELSE I CAN’T BREATHE WHEN I GO ON HERE. THE LAUGHTER IS UNSTOPPABLE.
    [You’re triggering me, okay!?]

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