Boston Children’s Hospital Throws Child Off Roof After She Announces She is a Bird – IOTW Report

Boston Children’s Hospital Throws Child Off Roof After She Announces She is a Bird

BABYLON BEE:

BOSTON, MA — This week, Boston Children’s Hospital made history by throwing the first child off the roof based on the child’s “felt need to have their birdhood affirmed.” The child is now back in treatment in Boston Children’s Hospital for broken bones, but the hospital is standing by its decision to fling the child off the roof to affirm their right to flight.

“Common questions from parents include: ‘Are you sure we should let little Johnny try to fly?’ or ‘Could we try from a lower jump point before committing to the 2nd story?’ or ‘Where are you taking my child??'” A promotional video posted by Boston Children’s Hospital this week features a mild-mannered doctor describing the “species-affirming care” children can receive. “We always give parents the same answer: always affirm your child’s felt needs, never correct or counsel them. If they want to fly, don’t take their wings!” more here


15 Comments on Boston Children’s Hospital Throws Child Off Roof After She Announces She is a Bird

  1. @Ferd

    Wait until they have to reset broken noses from fish thrown at the children that think they are seals….

    Or have to excavate the children that think they are dinsaurs….

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  2. I sort of dimly remember as a kid standing at the top of the stairs wondering if I could fly down them like Superman. I think previous encounters with gravity dissuaded me of that notion.

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  3. At this point I wouldn’t put ANYTHING past Boston Children’s Hospital.

    Children’s hospitals used to be for healing children, not for mutilating and sterilizing them.

    The Bee’s article hit straight into the gold.

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  4. I know there’s suppose to be some humor here, however I would ask if you’re going to donate to the health care of children please consider St. Jude’s. I’ve had the opportunity to witness some of these poor kids in drip rooms, chemo, it’s terrible. Kid’s shouldn’t need to go thru that shit.

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  5. “We always give parents the same answer: always affirm your child’s felt needs, never correct or counsel them.”

    Unless they show signs of being Conservative.
    FIFY

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  6. My precious grandson used to say he wanted to be a lion when I asked him what he wanted to be when he grew up. Then he would roar. He honestly thought one could transform oneself into an animal! 24 years later, all is well. He grew up to be a conservative. I could not be more proud.

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  7. I think I’m a billionaire. I need “wealth-affirming care”. Send money. Lots of money. Please help me fully commit to my new lifestyle.
    Bless you.

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  8. Brad
    AUGUST 17, 2022 AT 12:01 AM

    “…if you’re going to donate to the health care of children please consider St. Jude’s.”

    …amen to that. Childhood cancers are wicked nasty, hit kids who are sometimes not mentally able to understand what is happening let alone have the emotional maturity to deal, blindside parents out of nowhere in most cases ao THEY don’t always know how to HELP them deal, are often life-altering, and present in many different ways from liquid cancers like leukemia that leave children sick, weak, in pain, and maybe kill them to painful, existential threat solid growth tumors like osteogenic saracoma that start with a nothing fracture and a funny sort of pain, progress to an emergency amputation as quickly as it can be arranged because it metastizes that fast, and has radiation and chemo on its menu of resolutions which, as Brad indicates, are not fun for adults, let alone children; and many, MANY other types in between.

    These are life-altering things at ANY age, as Brad can tell you personally and I can tell you because of what my wife is currently going through, but devistating to children, their siblings, and their parents. St. Jude is one of the better ones, no parent ever gets a bill as I understand it and they are pretty dedicated to treatment and cure of actual diseases and research for them and don’t appear in the political realm as other children’s hospitals often do.

    If you can give a donation and a prayer, they and their patients can certainly use both.

    …I would also recommend burn hospitals, like Shriner’s Burns Institute in Cincinnati. Disfiguring and disabling burns are sadly a real issue in childhood, and scar tissur can render limbs useless during healing, there is a HUGE risk of death from infection as the skin is the main barrier to disease from outside, burns have to be carefully debrieded around their most sensitive parts which is quite painful, and skin grafts carry the same risks of other transplantations as they can come from many sources, including corpses, and way, WAY more issues than I can possibly address here.

    Oh, and sometimes the kids wake up in a burn institute after a house fire to learn that their parents can’t be there to help them heal because they died in the same fire.

    It happens.

    When praying for the sick and considering worthy donations, please keep them and that type of institute in your thoughts as well.

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  9. Slight correction on above, the Shriner’s hospital is now in Dayton. Just culture lag for me to type Cincinnati because it was there for my whole life up to a couple years ago. Still a worthy charity, just in a different place. I apologize if it caused any confusion.

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  10. “Look up in the sky, she’s a bird, she’s a plane, she’s not Supergirl.” SPLAT! These doctors at Boston’s Children Hospital need to be held accountable and sued for foolishly allowing this little girl to think she is a bird and can fly.

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  11. …do NOT donate to regular-ass, Government and University run “children’s hospitals” though. I would need several Internets and days of work to fill them with the disappointment in how incompetent they have become and my disgust at how political they are now, how unitetested in children’s physical health they are even as they add department after department to not only feed children’s mental illness, but to celebrate it, exacerbate it, and take a child who needs real help and make them fully insane instead, and then threaten to take the child away from any parent who complains.

    I can’t, won’t, don’t want to get into all that here, but seriously, do NOT give them more money than what they already steal from taxpayers. They will only use it to corrupt and destroy more children.

    …never thought I’d say anything like that in all the years I brought them patients, and indeed WAS a patient, and had a child of my own that was a patient, but it is The Current Year and here we are…

    DON’T Help them destroy more children. It’s all they are interested in now. Well, that, and interfering with parents who just want to raise normal, heathy kids.

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