No, you shouldn’t roast marshmallows over hot lava – IOTW Report

No, you shouldn’t roast marshmallows over hot lava

Someone did ask.

Breitbart: The US Geological Survey is now warning residents of the island of Hawaii to avoid roasting marshmallows over lava flows or open volcanic vents, a report says.

The government office responded to a recent tweet by Vermont resident Jay Furr who wondered about the safety of eating a roasted puff cooked over volcanic flows, the BBC reported.

“Is it safe to roast marshmallows over volcanic vents? Assuming you had a long enough stick, that is? Or would the resulting marshmallows be poisonous?” Furr asked via Twitter.  more

27 Comments on No, you shouldn’t roast marshmallows over hot lava

  1. RADIOATIONMAN, we had a factory here that processed telephone/power poles with creosote. Neighbor worked there and brought home the pole ends to burn as firewood. He nearly burned his house down when he got a chimney fire. Served him right, that stuff smelled up the hood. The factory is no longer here due to the pollution, and a cluster of its workers came down with liver cancer.

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  2. Here come the Lava tourists.
    The burn ward needs to do some prepping for the wave of:
    Lava Jumpers,
    People boiling eggs in the ocean next to the flow,
    Extreme grilled cheese enthusiasts
    Fans of Steak-on-a-Stick
    Lava racers
    Mobile Blacksmiths

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  3. Many, many moons ago back in the mid 70’s some Christian friends of mine tried to save a crazy street person by letting him live with them. It didn’t last long after they caught him roasting hot dogs stuck into a coat hanger plugged into an electrical outlet. That was it, I don’t know what happened to the guy nor do I care because he was an obvious dangerous and menacing idiot not only to himself but to my friends as well. We still laugh about it though. And I think they learned their lesson as well that you can’t save some people like this schlub..

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  4. Years ago we had to hike through the jungle to get to the lava to poke it with a stick. Good luck roasting marshmallows. You can’t even stand next to actual red lava without feeling like your eyebrows are burning off. But by all means give it a go.

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  5. Forget the marshmallows. Roast Democrats over the lava vents as a way to extend the hand of friendship across the isle.

    With a smile tell them you’re helping them to acclimate to the conditions at their eternal vacation home before they go, which btw would be nicer if they left sooner rather than later. All their pals will be there, including John McCain.

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  6. Don’t try such a dangerous thing. If you want to roast marshmallow’s safely there’s an easy way to do it if you have a gas stove. First thing to do is douse the pilot lights then turn the oven on to the broil setting and with door open allow gas to run for at least five minutes to bleed any air out of the lines, once this has been accomplished go ahead and ignite the pilots.

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  7. I walked around one of the calderas on the Big Island a few years ago. There were hot vents in the ground where you could stick a whole chicken or a steak (wrapped in foil) and it would be cooked in probably 10-15 minutes.

  8. After a few decades on this planet earth, there are a few things I won’t do. Cooking marshmallows over hot lava is one of them. Others:

    Spitting into the wind.
    Saying “Ju Mama” in Latin America
    Talking sense to a liberal
    Telling a woman she has “thunder thighs”
    Flipping off a cop
    Believing what Professors told me
    Believing anything in the NYT
    Watching soccer games
    Visit Portland, OR.

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