Like most little girls, my father was my first love. I adored everything about him, even how he smelled (like pine trees and lemons). The sound of his voice on the phone still makes my heart skip a beat. Some of my happiest childhood memories involved listening to his stories about his Lebanese homeland, watching him play silly made-up songs on his guitar, and riding on the front of his bike to the park.
But our time together was bittersweet. After my parents divorced when I was 2, our visits were limited to every other weekend and summer break.
I was always overjoyed to see him, but my happiness was marred by sadness because I knew we’d have to say goodbye too soon. Even though I was too young to remember what full-time life with my father was like, those goodbyes hurt so much. Every visit ended with an emotional breakdown for me, so much so that my father would beg, “No crying! You’re killing me.” I would cling to his shirt anyway, sobbing and breathing in his special smell, overcome with the feeling that my heart—my world—was being torn in two.
As a child, I clearly knew I missed my father terribly. But I had no idea just how much missing him would impact my relationships with men. Navigating dating and love was a lot harder without my father in my life.
If I married someone like my father, we would have been divorced long ago. I went to great pains not TO MARRY ANYONE LIKE HIM! I’ve been married for over 46 years, and DH is nothing like my asshole father. BTW, my father is dead. So, I am one with a different story than most. Nuff said.
“He affects her interactions with men.”
Yes, don’t marry an asshole like me.
That’s kinda of a weird story line there. My daughter married someone pretty close to me. Fucking big. Hee Hee. I chased the little ones away. But as luck would have it, he’s a great guy. I’ve got two grand kids and a son in law that has the exact same interests as me. So so far, I’m a lucky guy.
Dunno, probably difference in a father leaving and not having a memory of one’s father. Parents divorced when I was 18-months old, no memory. Still not clear about what I have missed.
Man, you guys are breaking my heart. Everyone deserves a father. That’s Fing bill shit. I’m just happy to see you both grow into strong conservative women. Honestly a whole new respect.
Mine’s a little twisty. Surrendered for adoption at birth, have an adoptive father who was largely absent until he grew up when he became a grandfather. I learned grace. Wonderful stepfather who taught me how to accept and love someone as family even if you’re not blood related. Best father-in-law I could ever hope for, a stand up guy who raised my husband to be just like him(I am blessed). Finally met my birthfather (who never knew of my existence) at the age of 32. At the same time, met the man listed inaccurately as my father on my birth certificate. Have strong relationships with both of these father figures today.
How did I choose my husband? Damned if I know. Have a sneaking suspicion he was chosen for me, by my heavenly Father, because in all other aspects I wasn’t showing the sense that He gave a goose back in the day.
I’ve always heard that girls “always” look for a husband who is like their Dad,and I heard a sermon about how fathers should treat their daughters like they would want their husbands to treat them, so that that will set up the expectations she will have going in to her eventual spouse search. So you can bet your sweet tea that any fella who comes courting for the hand of my “Little” is going to have to be a thoughtful fun gentleman… (with stainless steel balls, because if she likes him enough for me to meet him, then the spotlight is going on… on the barrel of my Daddy’s old single shot 12gauge! So I can see him and he can see me…)
Blah, Blah, Blah… I keep yapping on and on and forget my intended comment!
So, I never really thought about the notion that “A Daddy is his Son’s first hero, and his Daughter’s first Love!”.
But my daughter just gave me a little wooden plaque that she used her allowance to buy, that says that very thing. It is now one of my very most prized possessions!!!
Amazing isn’t it Brad? My father was a staunch Democrat, a big union guy. From a very early age maybe I was 4 years old, but I vowed never to marry anyone like him. He abused my mother, made sure she couldn’t get a job to make her solely dependent on him. I’m not feeling sorry for myself, I’m so happy that I didn’t marry anyone like him. Sorry if I’m a bummer about this, but I cringe whenever I read articles like this because it can’t be further from the truth with me. Thankfully my kids are happy in their marriages and have wonderful spouses. In that, I am grateful.