SNL does a skit about researchers who develop a machine that can read a dog’s thoughts.
(What is happening to Scarlett Johansson? She is not nearly as a attractive as she used to be.)
HT/C. Steven Tucker.
19 Comments on The Talking Dog
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Not impressed. Watched this earlier. Just SNL’s annual attempt to placate conservatives.
“What is happening to Scarlett Johansson?”
It’s called normal aging. Happens to all of us. She still looks great to me. Of course, most women under 60 look good to me. And some over, depending.
🙂
I think she looks fine too, although knowing who she’s been with…
I liked the skit, thought they did a great job of mocking the Leftist arguments.
Mocking the left = Nice!!
A guy walks into a bar with a dog under his arm and sits down at the counter, placing the dog on the stool next to him.
The bartender says, “Sorry, pal. No dogs allowed.”
The guy says, “But this is a special dog – he’s a talking dog. Do you want to buy him for a hundred bucks?”
“Yeah, right,” says the bartender. “Now get out of here before I throw you out.”
“No, really,” says the guy. “I can prove it.”
The bartender says, “If you can prove it, I’ll buy him. Go ahead.”
The guy says, “First, give me a beer.”
The bartender thinks, “OK, it’s worth a free beer to find out if the dog really can talk.”
He gives the guy a beer. The guy slugs it down
The bartender says, “Now let’s hear the dog talk.”
The guy turns to the dog and asks, “What do you normally find on top of a house?”
“Roof!” says the dog, wagging his tail.
The guy says, “See there? He said “roof”. A roof is on top of a house.”
“Ask him a different question.” says the bartender.
The guy says, “OK, but first give me another beer.”
The bartender is suspicious, but he gives the guy a second beer. The guy slugs it down.
The guy turns to the dog again and asks, “How are times in the U.S. nowadays?”
“Ruff!” exclaims the dog.
The guy says, “See? He said ‘rough’, and we certainly are having it rough in America today.”.
Now the bartender is getting steamed. He says, “Look, buddy – you got one more chance to make that dog talk, and then I’m throwing you both out on the street.”.
The man says, “OK, but you gotta give me another beer.”
Reluctantly, the bartender gives the guy a third beer, which the guy slugs down.
The bartender says, “Now ask the dog another question, and I’d better like the answer this time.”
The guy turns to the dog again and asks, “Who was the greatest baseball player that ever lived?”
“Roof!” barked the dog.
The guy says, “See there? He said “Ruth”. Babe Ruth was the greatest baseball player of all time”.
Furious, the bartender physically throws both man and dog out the door and onto the street.
Afterward, the guy and the dog are sitting on the curb, dejected.
The dog looks up at the guy and says, “Dimaggio?”
Clearly the SNL pug voted for the correct party: Repuglican.
Which one was Scarlett Johnson?
Can’t win the argument, just pull a gun.
Good demonstration of the tolerant Left!
@ The Rat Fink
It’s also a good representation of how they see gun use in general. That’s why they always predict “blood in the streets” when carry starts being allowed where it wasn’t before.
Because that’s what they’d do if they had a gun on them at all times.
They always see guns as a tool to control or influence rather than as a defensive tool.
Power.
Dadof4 – Exactly! Guilty Mind syndrome.
They think legitimate, responsible gun owners surely must think like they do.
Of course, that gun part was a dig at conservatives. “This gun I carry all the time.”
Subliminal: See how dangerous it is to let people carry guns all the time?
No, it’s dangerous to let libs have guns. Period.
@Vietet Another good one.
A man sees a sign outside a farm house while driving through the country- ‘Talking Dog For Sale.’ He rings the doorbell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is out back and brings the man around to the barn.
The man sees a very nice looking Labrador Retriever sitting there.
“Do you really talk?” he asks the dog.
“Yes,” the Labrador replies.
After recovering from the shock of hearing the dog talk, the man asks, “So, tell me your story.”
The Labrador looks up and says, “Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I was sold to the CIA. In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one imagined that a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years”.
“But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn’t getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at JFK Airport to do some undercover security work, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded several medals”.
“Then I got married, had a few puppies, and now I’ve just retired to this farm.”
The man is amazed. He goes back to the house and asks the owner how much he wants for the dog.
“Twenty dollars,” the owner says.
“Twenty dollars!!? But your dog is absolutely amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheaply?”
“Because he’s a lying bastard, he’s never left this farm!”
(What is happening to Scarlett Johansson? She is not nearly as a attractive as she used to be.) Well, what do you expect when you sleep with Sean Penn? Just look at Madonna.
She’s still attractive………until she opens her mouth and starts spouting her Leftist crap.
@ The Rat Fink
Here’s a clink of the coffee cup on a Monday morn.
(f#%*ing liberals.)
Back atcha!
This skit demonstrates that SLN audiences are not idealogues but rather mindless robots that will laugh at anything on cue.
She stopped the blonde in a bottle look.
Maybe they could use that on the screaming snowflakes. Or the second choice.
Being a blonde softened her looks, as did getting professional makeup and lighting for her scenes.