BT: The self-described “world’s first smart condom,” i.Con, allows users to track their speed, velocity, and caloric burn during sexual intercourse.
“Have you ever wondered how many calories you’re burning during intercourse?” asks i.Con on their product page. “How many thrusts? Speed of your thrusts? The duration of your sessions? Frequency? How many different positions you use in the period of a week, month or year? Ever wondered how you stack up to other people from around the world?” MORE
Which super star athlete will be the first to be paid to endorse these?
There must be some liberal dipshits pushing this stupidity.
ridickulous
This is as ridiculous as the people who weigh their stools.
What about a short circuit?
Just what we don’t need smart rubbers. Will they relay the info to some secretive govt. agency who will keep track of how many times you have sex and with whom. NO THANKS!
Another “ME” idea from the left. Call ‘me’ old fashioned in thinking that there is a word is missing. I thought it was about, “love.”
Who ya gonna please with that? “ME.”
Feminists are speeding up the release of Pussyhat 2.0, which will be sporting a digital outrage meter, a credibility burn-rate indicator and a titanium foil lining to block Trump tweets.
That’s a whole lot of technology for a bunch of millennial guys jerking off in the basement.
SmartFukkers®
Putting a “smart condom” on a dick is like putting a cap that says “I’m smart!” on a pinhead.
Excuse me darlin’ while I plug this in… to my smart phone.
You received a text with what, Mom?
Fuck this planet.
Richard Simmons is unavailable for comment.
It’s all fun and games until your Smart Condom gets a Trojan virus.
Can the smart rubber detect whether the guy is actually shagging someone or just doing “selfies” to bump up his “stats”? 😁
@Viet Vet, good one!! 😂
I would need one that exaggerates data and lies.
And will they automatically price check themselves when you buy them so you don’t have an embarrassing price check over the intercom for all the customers to hear. My wife told me that could only happen to me, she thought it was funny as hell.
Because sex is all about how many calories you burn…
Talk about an “upload.”
i.Con.you
…is the real name of this gadget. 😉
So what happens when you’re in the middle of – um, – “festivities” and your Smart Condom’s system crashes with the dreaded “Blue Screen of Death” (not to be confused with the Blue Waffle of Death, but we won’t go into that now) and locks up, preventing you from disengaging?
Who you gonna call for help? Geek Squad?
🙂
For all the flashy stuff and Aps – you have to remember,
these Snowflakes are still wearing rubbers, ROTFTTGTRO
(Rolling On The Floor Trying To Get The Rubber Off).
It truly is a smart condom.
First it links to your facebook account so it can tell all about you, and if you’re ready for that relationship, and delivers erection nullifying jolts if you have no business boffing the neighbor lady.
Various ‘back doors’ have been designed in, one being the ‘Cheater’s fiery death’ mode, often purchased by wives and girlfriends.
Oh, how I love teh interwebs.
https://www.twitter.com/internetofshit
Call me when they make a glove.
I’ll be duly impressed when they invent one that automatically locks zippers and corrals Mr. Happy in side pants. Can’t abuse it if you can’t use it.