You are competing for a Keith Sullivan Safety Whistle, courtesy of Menderman.
Contest ends at 11:59 pm et. I will judge this one.
The contest is inspired by President Obongo’s term “justice-involved individuals,” which is leftist bullshittery, used in place of the word “criminal.”
“Criminal” is apparently very, very hurtful and stigmatizing to the CRIMINAL.
Some examples-
Michael Brown – Victim of Constabulary Encounter
Welfare Queen – Insolvent High-Yielding Matriarch
Dropout – Educational Annulment
You may improve on someone’s word choice. (ie: If you have a better one for “dropout” go for it.)
Transgender. Reality estranged.
Mentally ill: heteroabnormative
Homeless: transdomestic
Pedophile: Child Endangerment Supervisor
Burglar: Property Retriever
Death Panel: Citizen’s Health Care Efficiency Advisory Council
Embezzler: Reallocation Director
Jihadist Infiltrator: Religion of Peace Good-Will Ambassador
Peeping Tom: Sight Seer
Moslem supporter. Suicidally naive.
All-Out Turf War Between Cartel-Supported Drug Gangs: Youth Gun Violence
…but that term’s already in use
Drug dealers; Under the counter entrepreneurs
Illegal alien = Justice estranged global citizen
This joke took off at our place years ago, never thought it might one day come true.
Inmate; correctional friend.
Alan Grayson: Produce of blood-related brother and sister
Bestialist: Pet Lover
Protective custody; integrationally challenged.
Burglar: Asset reappropriation specialist
Burglars: Residential reclamation experts.
Joe Biden: Gaia bless his cardial mechanism
Rapist: Sexually deprived loners.
Traitor: Fundamental Transformation President
Arsonists: Reverse firemen.
Dropout: Disenfranchised educatee
Gay homeless hipanic man:Homonomas…
Abortionist-Clump Removal Expert
update/variation:
Treason: Fundamental Transformation
Senator: Obfuscater of truth and sanity…
Illegal Alien – Documentally Challenged International Migratory Nester.
Department of Justice: *ERROR 404*….this definition is currently and constantly under review, searching for the correct agenda…
Transgender – A Man Or A Woman Who May Or May Not Be A Man Or A Woman Who May Or May Not Have A Dick.
IRS investigator-Asset Relocater
Reggie Love-Presidential Asset Stimulater
Single: “Matrimonial Challenged”
Applies especially to unwed welfare queens.
Bathroom perversion – Civil rights.
Spanish interpreter: “Alien enabler.”
Especially where I work.
Electronic ankle bracelet – Democrat voter ID
(At least in Virginia)
A Harry Reid-like politician: Douchebagulist
Politically correct: Lickspittle nonsense…
Black welfare recipient – minority reparations collector in perpetuity
Islamic Terrorist:
Allah booster member
Suicide Bomber – Spontaneous Matter Redistributor.
Transsexual prostitute: Gender-challenged person of negotiable affections.
Perverted: Sexually Diverse
Ladies Room – Gender Neutral Urine And Feces Depository.
Entitlement Program: Sustainable Long-Term Re-Investment Initiative
Arsonist: Unpermitted home remodeler.
update/alternative:
Perverted: Sexually Non-Discriminatory
Preznit Obola – drug-addled, homosexual, marxist, moslem usurper.
izlamo delenda est …
…or freelance forestry manager.
Demonrat – Bolshevik
Progressive – Socialist
Leftist – Socialist
Republicrat – Menshevik
Paul Ryan – Shitweasel
Mitch McConnell/John Kerry/ &c. – Traitor
Iran Deal – Nuclearizing Iran
Associate Justice of the Supreme Court – illiterate totalitarian hack
ObolaCare – Socialized Medical Fraud
izlamo delenda est …
Treasonous – Multi Allegienced Non Country Specific.
Centrist – Socialist
Left-Leaning – rabid Communist
Moderate – wishy washy
izlamo delenda est …
Gay Marriage Crusader – pederast
izlamo delenda est …
Racist Homophobe Islamaphobe Capitalist – straight white folks
Murderers – “procurers of premature lifelessness.”
Rapists – “non-certified sperm delivery providers.”
Burglars – “unregulated property acquisition coordinators.”
Child molesters – “unauthorized initiators of youth sex activities.”
Terrorists – “spontaneous political expression artists.”
dropput = vacationing student
Politician: “Employment Continuance Professional.”
Male to Female tranny: Vast Deference
Illegal alien drug cartel member – “transitional pharmaceutical apprentice.”
Clinton/Sanders voter – “reality challenged anal/cranial inversion practitioner.”
Dead democrat voter: Respiration challenged public activist
US Congress – “association of income enhanced Constitutionally challenged moral responsibility escape artists.”
IRS – “income reduction and incorporation prevention specialists for hostile politically conservative action groups.”
Skid row drunk: Spirit-enhanced meditation expert
Office of the President-Elect…….
A gang meeting / Muhammad Mafia planning terrorism for the next eight years.
There is no such office.
Joe Biden: Booger eatin’ moron….
Not my own, but gleaned from the Katrina debacle:
Looting: self-assisted humanitarian aid
FBI Investigation: Security Review
FBI Investigation: Inter-agency Dispute
Looter: CVS Reparations
White Person – Melanin-impoverished; member of the mutant albino genetic-recessive global minority.
Homosexual: vagphobic.
Transgendered – Biologically-Confused
Sex Change – Plumbing Reassignment
Feral Rioter – Urban Renewal Specialist
Dug dealer : freelance pharmacist.
we can’t have the ‘undocumented workers’ feeling all butt-hurt by calling them ‘Ditch Diggers’ …. from now on they are Terra-Forming Specialist that use Manual-operated Terrain Altering Implements, instead of shovels & picks
iowntheworld: iowtwreport
STD– Small Town Drunks
Pimp: Temp agency manager
God: Allah
if criminals are ‘justice-involved individuals’ …. what does that make their victims? …. ‘justice-denied individuals’?
… to a damocRat they’re probably just ‘tolerantly-challenged justice-involved individual haters’
Vagiphobic haha, I’m stealing that one!
Pedophilia: prophet endorsed arranged marriage
President: Commander of Entitlements
US Department of Justice – “risk management and indictment prevention facilitators for Democratic political allies.”
US Joint Chiefs of Staff – “Gay Lesbian Dating Service.”
Special Restroom
Disfunction Junction.
US Department of Education – “Don’t Harsh My Mellow Motherf***er!”
“At risk kids” – future CRIMINALS
Constitutional Scholar: Phone & Pen
Andrew Jackson: Harriet Tubman
Law Enforcement: Acting Stupidly
Allahu Akbar: BOOM!
Bum: Vocationally Impaired
Gang Member: Feral Entrepreneur
Burglar: White Privilege possession disorder therapist
Whore: Endorphin Facilitator
Welfare Mama: Procreative
Lie: Factual Discrepancy
Rape: sexual emergency
Pimp: Flesh entrepreneur
Heroin dealer: unlicensed pharmacist
National Borders: ?
School Lunch: Gruel
Traitor: Constitution Revisor
Tyrant or Thug: Guidance Professional
Areas where leftists defecate on the sidewalks: Feces Self-expression Gallery.
Lying sack of shit — Democrat politician
Murderer: involuntary euthanasia facilitator
Liberal college professor: cranial vaccum containment vessel
Department of Justice:
Presidential Whim Enforcement
National Conversation about Race:
Blame Whitey (again)!