Alternative Beto O’Rourke Vanity Fair Covers

 

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32 Comments on Alternative Beto O’Rourke Vanity Fair Covers

  1. He’s all over the local TV news in the NW.

    First impression: he’s as dumb as Corkscrew Cortex. Here we go.

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  2. Yep, he’s nothing more than a white Obama. Has never accomplished anything in his life, has zero qualification to become President, hates America, looks gay and dweeby, is dumber than a box of rocks, and has the potential, as well as the desire, to destroy America from within.

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  3. “…I don’t want a politician who’s anything like me. I want them to think like me, but I don’t want them to be like me. If that were the case, the president would be watching YouPorn all day. I also hate the “he seems like the kind of guy you want to have a beer with” stuff. I went to school with 190 jack-offs you’d want to have a beer with. I wouldn’t trust those guys to assistant-manage a Del Taco, much less run the country. I want Bill Gates in charge—someone who looks like he’d be horrible to hang out with. I don’t need the relatable thing. I need the intelligence thing. Joe Six-Pack is great when he comes to your house and runs a snake through your main line. But you don’t want him negotiating a Middle East peace treaty. Relatable is useless. When Bill Clinton was asked the famous “boxers or briefs” question, his answer should have been, “F*** you. What does it matter?” To all these politicians who have to pretend to be the little guy and act like they’re not rich or trying to get rich, I say cut it out. When did being wealthy in this country become a bad thing? F*** that. You know who’s rich? Smart people. I want a one-percenter to be president. I want the overachiever. I grew up with the 99 percent. They’re not all that noble and hardworking. A lot of them are burned-out losers. I want that guy who has three degrees or amazing business sense and has made a shitload of money. Your school principal isn’t supposed to be “one of you.” He’s there to run the school. Your job is to study and not be a dumb-ass in the hallways. He just runs it the best he can to give you the opportunity to get A’s. And do rich guys not have TVs? I’m pretty sure they have a lot of them. So they can see what’s going on in the world. They don’t need to be in the trenches with the little guy to experience the life of the common folk. We should be electing the guy who pulled himself out of that. The president is supposed to lead. The president is supposed to be our CEO, not our BFF.” — Adam Carolla, President Me

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  4. This guy has to have THE worst speech delivery I’ve ever heard. Choppy and disjointed as hell. And he looks like the Phantom of the Opera with nice teeth. But he’s a “rock star” to all the leftie talking heads. Maybe because the rest of the clown car is worse.

    BTW…Tucker Carlson completely excoriated him tonight. It was a joy to behold…

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  5. I was driving this afternoon and was listening to Tom Sullivan, not my favorite, on the radio. Topic, the unfair coverage Beta O’Rourke is getting, for never accomplishing a damn thing. The only office this clown has ever held was city council man. Anyway, there were four or five people that called in, identified themselves as life long Democrats, and said they’re voting for Trump in 2020. They went on to say the DNC is off the rails stupid.

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  6. His DUI accident that nearly killed a man, from which he fled, is only missing a Chappaquidick bridge.

    Beto Fitzgerald Kennedy O’Rourke has Camelot DNA, but Joe Cocker arm movement s.

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  7. The dumpocranks want to change everything. I wouldn’t be surprised if they take a cue from the Roman Republic and go for a triumvirate as a multi-presidency. You know it’ll be a white guy, a black guy and a Latino woman.

    How’s about the Beto Nut, Occasional Cortex, and that black New Jersey devil?

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  8. O’Rourke’s Tango.

    “They called him Poncho Rodriques O’Rourke
    Ever since he spent a holiday in Spain.
    He’s not Patrick no more.
    Now he calls himself Senior O’Rourke.”
    From “O’Malleys Tango” funny Irish song.

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  9. Help me??? Help us!! His wife looks like the brainless, worthless daughter of a billionaire. And now with the college scandal out there she can’t claim to some sort of education. Except for middle school maybe. There is reason to have hope.

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  10. That gangly, awkward, homespun persona worked great for Jimmy Stewart because he had something substantial to say, being a solid Republican.

    Beto however, is a vapid, clumsy dingbat up for any destructive socialist policy data his puppet master upload to his vacant brain.

    BTW, his software needs to be adjusted. According to President Trump, Beto’s hands are out of control and make him look crazy. HAHA!

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  11. Beto beats his meat right on the street.

    You can’t beat Beto. Only Beto can beat Beto.

    Open up your can of Beto, and beat-off, asshole.

    (This isn’t like me, I know, but I saw the dweeb on TV tonight and simultaneously gagged, farted and dribbled my pants in a sudden outburst of Kennedy dread.)

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  12. “We’re gonna need a bigger clown car.”

    His arm and hand gestures are like those of a marionette being controlled by a puppeteer on crack.

    The debates should be a hoot to watch.

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  13. Having Robert Francis O’Rourke as a candidate in the Socialist-Demographic Party’s Grand Illusion certainly guarantees he will capture all of the spastic voters. And, any Italian fish mongers who loved Mussolini’s ability to enrapture an audience with those wild gesticulations to go along with those punctual trains. Beto is also likely to get the votes of everyone who ever wanted to conduct a junior high school band on LSD. O’Rourke will probably get a lot of votes from those people who give sign language for the weather reports on PBS. This is the best addition to the clown car since Kalamity Harris and Spartacus Booker pushed their way into that little automobile underneath the big circus tent.

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  14. @BluesJunky: “This guy has to have THE worst speech delivery I’ve ever heard. Choppy and disjointed as hell.”

    Compare the cadence of his speech to that of bernie. I think has been coached to speak like that. Thay’re both after the same audience, and that is what it is- an audience.
    veto beto
    he’s really robbie

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