The Bikini Is Dead and Amy Schumer Killed It – IOTW Report

The Bikini Is Dead and Amy Schumer Killed It

In a one piece sure to raise eye brows and objections, senior contributor to the Federalist, Georgi Boorman declares the end of the bikini, Here


Just to make sure the garment suffers a truly horrible death, “comedian” Amy Schumer celebrated national bikini day last week by wallowing around in the now passé swim wear Here

(Warning: It’s Amy Schumer, so expect the worst)

50 Comments on The Bikini Is Dead and Amy Schumer Killed It

  1. I don’t think that’s Amy Schumer.

    Looks like an albino Manatee that swam through some stray rope lines.

  2. That is the picture next to the urban dictionary definition for “ten pounds of shit in a five pound bag”.

  3. when amy was young she told everyone someday she would be a comedian…………Well no ones laughing now

  4. Remember, Hollywood chose her to portray ‘Barbie’ in a live action movie before the project was cancelled. 😳

  5. From the linked article: “merely a snare for the 98ish percent of American women who do not, in fact, look hawt in what equates to poorly constructed underwear.”

    I hate to disappoint Mz. Boorman (Al’s wife, maybe?) but (1) more like 90% of women who wear bikinis look great in them, not 2% as she claims, and (2) they ain’t goin no where.

  6. OpenTheDoor JULY 13, 2017 AT 12:54 PM
    Doing it with worse is like riding a Vespa, it feels good, until your friends see you….
    My neighbor rode a Vespa while the rest of us rode jap bikes. He went on to be a successful Palm Springs lawyer with his name on the door.

  7. I need a woman on this blog to answer the question “what is going thru this woman’s head?”…is she just so gross and hideous that she has given up on being anything else and wants to just shove it in our faces? What is her major malfunction?

  8. I heard they had to close off the entire ocean so Amy Schumer could use it.

    Also tsunami watches were posted on both the East and West Coasts just in case Amy fell off her paddleboard

  9. I’m beginning to understand how so many men are turning to faggotry … not that there’s anything wrong with that!

    (and no … I’d rather fuck my fist than either that or some man’s ass)

    izlamo delenda est …

  10. For any of you oldsters out there that used to watch “Red Eye” with Greg Gutfield on at 3:00 A.M. you may have noticed that Amy was a frequest guest. You could tell she wasn’t a real conservative but nor was she a real liberal either. She was also pretty good looking with a nice figure. She was funny on the show with a quick wit and could take it as well as dish it out. She stopped coming on a one point and I guess that’s about when she went to Hollywood and veered left not only to the Democrats but to the pie stand as well. Too bad.

  11. The bikinis and the one piece aren’t going anywhere. Chubby girls can wear bikinis, they just have to be in their TRUE sizes. The puffer fish on that photo is wearing one 2 sizes too small.

  12. I watched a film clip of one of those things bite a nile crocodile clean in half. They look harmless enough but beware they are territorial and are known man killers.

  13. I mean, I’ll be honest here, my own tummy is probably about as bad as hers… but my legs actually have a shape and my breasts are way bigger. In fact, I thought that being overweight meant that you ‘filled’out there more? Apparently not? 😡

  14. @ bad brad
    Sorry. That’s a future husband exclusive. Wasn’t even saying for brownie points, just genuinely confused about why Schumer is cursed with the body of a cabbage patch doll. :/

  15. There was a mirror in the ladies restroom in Capistrano Beach, Ca. Costco (Price Club, at that time) that made women look at least 20 pounds lighter. This mirror was magic and every woman for miles around had asked Costco where to buy one. One day the mirror disappeared. It was a nightmare for the store and it was never replaced.
    Maybe Schumer stole it!

  16. @ Fritz – For what it’s worth, sounds like Chuffed and I have similar body types. (gained twenty pounds in the past few years ☹️) I really like having a brown belly. I wear a bikini to the beach or pool; but, I always put a rash guard or cover on when I’m in the water or upright. I have never understood being comfortable with blubber. Exposed or not. Now that I’m overweight myself, it’s even more puzzling.
    But I think the short answer to your question is that shame went out of style about the same time that Lycra hit the fashion world. I am eagerly waiting for its comeback!

  17. This is the kind of shit that leads to regulation, and frankly, I’d like to see more hardbodies on the beach in bikinis than amy schumer types wearing overalls.

  18. Indimex is a woman. Who knew? I had a good friend once that was slightly over weight. Actually he was FAT. To much beer. He was never shy about stripping down to his swim wear and getting in the water. One day while he was in the act he told me. “Bad Brad, tan fat is a lot better looking than white fat.” I think he had a point.

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